| Does the idea of a vacation sound like an
| |
| | The company is introducing a new logo.
|
| appalling loss in office productivity? Or
| |
| | Management says the stylized palm tree
|
| does the idea of work sound like those
| |
| | and two coconuts at the base of the trunk
|
| temporary, dreary hours when you're not
| |
| | symbolizes their relaxed and co-operative
|
| tanning at the beach? Ten questions will
| |
| | relationship with clients. Everybody is
|
| give you the answer to this most
| |
| | asked what they think of it. You:a. Write
|
| important question. 1. You're playing
| |
| | a detailed analysis emphasizing the
|
| golf with your boss. Right now you're
| |
| | beauty and fitting nature of the logo,
|
| thinking:a. I need to make this putt to
| |
| | and applaud the advertising agency for a
|
| impress him. Then I'll be around when he
| |
| | job well done.b. Laugh with your
|
| discusses the plans for the new account.
| |
| | co-workers at the obvious similarity to a
|
| I must show him I am capable and ready to
| |
| | certain part of the male anatomy.c. Begin
|
| be the project lead!b. I need to make
| |
| | drawing exceptionally rude additions on
|
| this putt to impress him. Then I'll be
| |
| | the logo, symbolizing relationships of a
|
| around when they go for drinks tonight.
| |
| | different nature. 9.
|
| His wife is hot. I hope she'll be
| |
| | Congratulations, you've been promoted to
|
| there!c. Wherz da flag? Man oh man, I
| |
| | middle management! More hours, more
|
| shouldn't'f sloshed down that sixth beer!
| |
| | responsibility, a bit more cash. You:a.
|
| Hey, that shand trap looks like a great
| |
| | Puff with pride and self-importance,
|
| place to catch some rays. 2. It's
| |
| | polish your new mahogany desk and
|
| time for coffee break. But you're still
| |
| | anticipate twice as many meetings. Your
|
| in that meeting. What do you do?a. It
| |
| | statements to underlings begin to go
|
| doesn't even cross your mind, because it
| |
| | something like "Yeeeaah, hi, I'm
|
| would be completely irresponsible to
| |
| | going to ask you to come in on Saturday .
|
| think of such a trivial thing while
| |
| | . ."b. Ask for a lot more money
|
| contributing to next year's budget
| |
| | first, plus an extra two weeks vacation,
|
| projections.b. You feel the aroma of the
| |
| | stating that increased responsibility and
|
| coffee pot through the door, and you
| |
| | stress needs such compensation.c. Wake
|
| struggle to keep your attention on the
| |
| | from such a horrible dream. Vow to never
|
| sales figures. Still, coffee. Mmm.c. The
| |
| | again play that "Middle Management
|
| bell for coffee wakes you up into jarring
| |
| | " card game! 10. You have 6
|
| reality. The sounds of the gentle surf is
| |
| | weeks of vacation to use, because you
|
| replaced by the irritating droning of
| |
| | haven't been taking any for the last
|
| some guy with a pointer. You excuse
| |
| | couple of years. Management says you can
|
| yourself and drowsily leave the room.
| |
| | either take it or convert it for 1
|
| 3. It's your Caribbean-themed office
| |
| | regular paycheck. How do you react?a.
|
| party! However, you notice that the
| |
| | Laugh at such an impossible scenario,
|
| social committee is completely clueless
| |
| | because not only do you take full
|
| as to what constitutes a Caribbean party.
| |
| | vacations every year, you often call in
|
| You:a. Politely ignore the plastic
| |
| | sick for a week and hire
|
| flamingos in the corner and sip on your
| |
| | "Rent-A-Sick Buddy" to cover
|
| non-alcoholic beer. You straighten your
| |
| | for you while you lounge in Jamaica!b.
|
| tie before striding boldly to the higher
| |
| | You take the paycheck and continue
|
| management table.b. Smirk at the deflated
| |
| | working. (Now you can sock away more
|
| plastic palm trees and raccoon stuffed
| |
| | money to buy that limited 17th century
|
| animals and make a mental note to join
| |
| | replica still-life painting of fruit!)c.
|
| the social committee next year to do
| |
| | You scoff at yourself, pack your bags,
|
| things properly - by taking a vacation
| |
| | and begin the best and most needed 6
|
| for "educational" purposes.c.
| |
| | weeks of your life!For each answer from 1
|
| Plop yourself down on the inflatable tube
| |
| | - 9:For every A answer, give yourself 1
|
| you brought, then spike your Coke with a
| |
| | point.For every B answer, give yourself 2
|
| flask of Jamaican rum you smuggled in.
| |
| | points.For every C answer, give yourself
|
| Rub tanning lotion over your body, and
| |
| | 4 points.Question 10 was a trick! Give
|
| politely ask a co-worker to do your back.
| |
| | yourself 5 for A (for exceptional
|
| 4. That cute co-worker is
| |
| | style!), -1 for B (come on now, fruit??),
|
| constantly eyeing you. You're interested
| |
| | and 2 for C (don't do that again, you
|
| too, but office romance is strictly
| |
| | silly workaholic!).How you Rate:Less than
|
| forbidden. You:a. Report sexual
| |
| | 15: You live to work, and a board meeting
|
| harassment to human resources. There,
| |
| | is the thrill of your life. You just
|
| problem solved, especially if it means a
| |
| | can't wait to impress your boss with your
|
| promotion!b. Arrange for a romantic
| |
| | awesome PowerPoint presentation! It's
|
| evening outside work, but avoid all eye
| |
| | taken weeks to prepare the 78 screens!
|
| contact while working.c. Arrange for a
| |
| | Thankfully, nobody invites you to
|
| wild, passionate tryst in the server
| |
| | parties. Who has time for those?16 to 19:
|
| room! 5. You're lounging in the
| |
| | You worship florescent lighting. The hum
|
| Caribbean, quietly sipping your drink,
| |
| | and flicker of white light, and how it
|
| when suddenly you wake up and you're
| |
| | accents the grey cubicle walls is the
|
| still at your desk, in the middle of
| |
| | definition of the highest art form.
|
| writing audit reports! You:a. Shake your
| |
| | However, you felt a bit sad when the boss
|
| head and chastise yourself for falling
| |
| | moved you from the window to the middle
|
| asleep, and hope nobody noticed.b. Pout
| |
| | of the office, and took your stapler.20
|
| softly, then surreptitiously check the
| |
| | to 25: You love nothing better than to
|
| Internet for travel deals. Make a mental
| |
| | walk through a group of shivering, pale
|
| note to buy tanning lotion on the way
| |
| | people with your suntan. Did you go to a
|
| home.c. Scream. 6. In order to get
| |
| | tropical destination in the middle of
|
| the project done, you have to work
| |
| | winter? Did you cheat and go to a tanning
|
| Saturday. But there's a big party Friday
| |
| | salon? You'll never tell.26 to 30: Nice
|
| night! What do you do?a. Call one of your
| |
| | wireless laptop! You obviously have one,
|
| friends and say you can't make it,
| |
| | because you're certainly not reading this
|
| because you have to work tomorrow.
| |
| | at a desk. You only happened upon this
|
| Emphasize the word ‘work' to shame
| |
| | page because you need to order a second
|
| them into becoming responsible adults
| |
| | swimsuit, preferably one that lets in the
|
| like yourself.b. Go to the party, but
| |
| | tanning rays. Careful with that
|
| leave early, sighing about your heavy
| |
| | margarita, you don't want to waste it by
|
| workload and inviting pity drinks from
| |
| | accidentally spilling it all over your
|
| your friends.c. What project? Six beers
| |
| | keyboard again!30 and above: Thank god
|
| will destroy that silly idea about
| |
| | your uncle left you all that money so you
|
| working through the weekend! 7.
| |
| | can afford to live at the resort! You
|
| "The implementation of our strategic
| |
| | shudder at what might have been -
|
| application is conducive to the
| |
| | actually having to work a desk job at
|
| progressing interaction of our structured
| |
| | some soul-sucking corporation. Or is this
|
| workflow." This statement means:a.
| |
| | a dream, and you don't actually have a
|
| "Implementing our dedicated
| |
| | rich uncle who passed away? Best not
|
| investment supports the core evolution
| |
| | think of those things, just enjoy the
|
| and functionality of our strategic
| |
| | now.Chris is the author and owner of
|
| vision." What's not to understand?b.
| |
| | no-tan-lines.com, an information and
|
| "Buying new crap keeps our old crap
| |
| | resource site on tan through clothing,
|
| working."c. Just a sec . . . looking
| |
| | tanning tips and beach sportswear.
|
| up "implametashun." 8.
| |
| |
|
