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An Idiot's Guide To Wine Tasting

Have you ever seen those stiff your hostess's spanking new Axminster.
upper-lipped types doing a spot of the To swill wine properly, very little wrist
old wine tasting malarkey? You know the movement is actually needed. Just very
form - sip, swill, spit. Yuck! Well this slight circular movements combined with a
information has been written to help you right-left movement should do the trick.
understand the form should you ever find The idea behind all this swilling is to
yourself in a situation where you need to bring the wine's aroma out of the wine
know what to do. And don't go thinking itself and into the empty part of the
"I'll never have to do any wine tasting" bowl thus allowing it to be smelled and
because you just don't know that for sure savoured. This is why wine glasses are
and the last thing you want is to be bulbous. The wide bowl has ample room for
caught unaware. swilling while the narrow edge 'captures'
So, on with the wine tasting... the bouquet. Clever, eh? Do this right
Study The Wine and you'll look like a real wine tasting
Pick up your glass as elegantly as expert.
possible. There are two ways this can be Move your glass to your nose as elegantly
done.a) For chilled wines - hold the as you're able and bring it in slightly
glass by the stem and don't even touch beneath the tip. Inhale deeply. Savour
the bowl.b) For wine served at room for a few moments and then inhale again.
temperature - pick up the glass by the It's a good idea to exhale between those
bowl and hold it cupped in your palm, the two inhalations or you might find
stem between your middle two fingers. yourself going dizzy. Do it too often and
Now that you have the wine glass you'll faint.
comfortably in your hand, hold it at a You may now move your glass away from
slight angle against something white. If your nose.
your hostess knows anything about wine At this point, it's appropriate to make
tasting, she'll have covered the table in some kind of comment. Ok, so maybe you
white linen specifically for this won't really be able to fool anybody into
purpose. believing you're a proper wine tasting
Be careful not to tip the glass too far - expert but at least you can make it sound
unless you're willing to replace an as if you've actually drunk a glass of
expensive linen tablecloth, that is. You decent wine before. Why should the other
may also need to adjust the distance from guests need to know that most of your
your eyes that the glass is held at. Most wine costs £3.99 at the local Co-Op?
find that holding it at almost arm's Something like "mmmm, rich and fruity" or
length is a good starting point when wine "oooh, lovely and light" will probably do
tasting although the very short sighted the trick. When talking about red wine,
who are also absent minded enough to have 'rich' is usually a good word to use - if
left their eye glasses at home may find the wine's white, go for 'light'. This is
themselves having to hold the glass also a handy way of impressing dates when
almost in front of their noses. doing a spot of wine tasting at the table
Once you've found the correct position, in a restaurant.
study the colour and clarity of the wine. The Actual Wine Tasting
Now you may well believe that wine's You've probably been looking forward to
either red, pink, or white but I'm this bit but whatever you do, remember
afraid, if that's the case, you're very that wine tasting is about taking small
much mistaken. Wines can be green, sips and not guzzle it down like there's
yellow, gold, pink, purple, or even no tomorrow.
black. Evidently, the colour of the wine This bit's actually trickier than you'd
will indicate the type of grape it was expect so you might want to do some more
made from - as if me, you, and Jack on practising.
the street are likely to know about that! Bring your glass to your lips, open them
Still, you're presumably there for the slightly and take a small sip. Now close
actual wine tasting rather than grape you mouth and roll the wine around on
education. your tongue for a few seconds before
Clarity indicates age. Young wines are allowing it to slide slowly down your
more see through and cloudiness can mean throat AND AT THE SAME TIME EXHALE!
there's something wrong. If that's the The trouble with exhaling whilst
case, I'd suggest putting it back on the swallowing is that some of the liquid
table and giving your hostess once of might come shooting through your
those 'down your nose' type looks. That nostrils. Not a pretty sight and, again,
way, she'll think you actually know a think of the Axminster! Make a mess at
thing or two about the business of wine this stage and you'll probably never be
tasting. invited to a wine tasting party again.
The reason why you're studying the colour If you fancy, you can always take a
and clarity looks has absolutely no second sip at this point but never a
bearing on how the wine will taste but a third. No matter how good that one
proper connoisseur enjoys the beauty of particular wine is, it's time to move on
wine as well as its taste and ... to the next.
The Bouquet Other Stuff Worth Knowing
No, we're not talking about the bunch of Apart from bottles and glasses, the wine
flowers a bride carries with her down the tasting table will probably hold plates
aisle, we're talking the smell of wine. of cheese or, occasionally, sherbet.
Sometimes, if the people at the wine They're not there to snack on; they're
tasting are really posh, they might call used between wines to clean out the taste
it 'The Nose'. of the last wine you tasted. Just a
Still holding your glass in the correct little at a time is all that's needed. Do
manner, lower your hand somewhat whilst like a mouse and nibble!
bring your glass to a level position and Wear something comfortable and preferably
rotate your wrist so that the wine swirls something that doesn't carry a designer
gently within the bowl. You might want to label. After all, if you spill red wine
leave these instructions at this point to down the front of your best frock, you're
go to the kitchen and practise this step not going to be happy, are you?
with a wine glass half filled with water. That's it. You're now clued up enough to
After all, if you're serious about pop along to your very first wine tasting
attending a wine tasting party, it's just party without making a complete idiot of
as well to know for sure that you aren't yourself.
going to spill expensive red wine over Enjoy!




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