| Just two days ago, another 15-year old
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| | God, I'm Only 17" is a stanching piece
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| child was added to the overwhelming
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| | that has hailed teenagers and parents
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| statistics of drunk-driving, related
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| | alike.As a ritual, this literature is
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| deaths. One minute, he's full of vitality
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| | ground into the core of my thought
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| and attending our local high school, the
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| | processes. Not too long ago, we were all
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| next his unsuspecting parents are
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| | faced with enticements of "...let's go to
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| identifying him in a local morgue. The
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| | that party...", "...come, on...it's only
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| harsh reality of this brutal scenerio is
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| | a few miles up the road. He's not
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| sometimes very difficult to
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| | drunk...he's only had a few beers...."
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| comprehend."Where did I go wrong?"
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| | "Sure she can drive...she's done this a
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| "Didn't I talk enough with my child?" "I
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| | million times before..." And all too
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| thought he knew better..." "I assumed he
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| | often, teenagers fall to peer pressure
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| was just at a friend's house..."These,
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| | because they want to be cool, popular or
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| and various other queries, are all
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| | part of the "in-crowd." Sadly, many do
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| similar questions parents tend to ask
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| | become victims of psychological pressure
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| themselves after an incident or accident
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| | tactics.There is not a week that goes by
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| involving DUI or DWI (Driving Under the
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| | that I don't think of "Only 17." Being a
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| Influence, or Driving While
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| | mother of two teenage kids, the thought
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| Intoxicated).According to MADD (Mothers
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| | is a constant in my mind. As a parent, it
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| Against Drunk Driving), NHTSA (National
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| | is imperative that we adamantly involve
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| Highway Traffic Safety Administration)
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| | ourselves in our childrens' lives. I'm
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| and the NIAAA (National Institute on
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| | not saying that we become overbearing and
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| Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism),
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| | intrusive, but we must demand intolerance
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|
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| | of drinking and driving. While most
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| Parents' drinking behavior and favorable
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| | teenagers will experience with alcohol at
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| attitudes about drinking have been
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| | some point in their growing-up years, we
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| positively associated with adolescents'
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| | have to learn to expect it. It is not a
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| initiating and continued drinking.
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| | question of if, it's a matter of when.And
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| (NIAAA, 1997)
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| | like all parents, we don't want to accept
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| Youth who drink before age 15 are four
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| | the fact that our child or children would
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| times more likely to develop alcohol
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| | engage in sometimes-lethal behavior. But
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| dependence than those who begin drinking
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| | it can happen to the best of families.
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| at age 21. (NIAAA, 1997)
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| | Drinking and driving doesn't simply
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| Underage drinkers are responsible for
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| | effect a certain stereotypical group of
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| between 10 and 20 percent of all alcohol
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| | persons - it doesn't have a preference of
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| consumed in the United States. (NAS,
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| | social, economical, racial, geographical,
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| 2003)
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| | and sexual lines. No, peer pressure is
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| In 2002, 29 percent of 15 to 20-year-old
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| | out there, and if you're not paying
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| drivers killed in motor vehicle crashes
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| | attention and interactively pursuing the
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| had been drinking. Twenty-four percent
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| | matter, your child could become a
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| were intoxicated.
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| | statistic.One of my beliefs is to
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| Research continues to show that young
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| | continuously talk with my children about
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| drivers between 15 and 20 years old are
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| | drinking. I wasn't born yesterday, so I
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| more often involved in alcohol-related
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| | know that alcohol is waiting at the
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| crashes than any other comparable age
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| | ready. What do I do about it? For
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| group. Alcohol-crash involvement rates,
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| | starters, I have ritually engrained the
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| share of the alcohol-crash problem and
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| | fact that drinking and driving kills.
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| alcohol-crash risk all reach their peaks
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| | Period. Since they were old enough to
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| with young drivers, with the peaks for
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| | understand the principles of drinking and
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| fatal crashes occurring at age 21.
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| | driving, I have made it a point to "be
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| (NHTSA, 2001)
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| | there" for my kids. You see, one of the
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| Based on the latest mortality data
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| | biggest problems with teenagers is that
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| available, motor vehicle crashes are the
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| | if you isolate them with negative
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| leading cause of death for people from 15
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| | communication, it can virtually destroy
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| to 20 years old. (NHTSA, 2003)
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| | any attempt of "keeping them safe."A
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| Of course, statistically speaking, the
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| | encouraging opening line to your teenager
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| list could go on and on. All too often,
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| | might be, "...although I don't condone
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| we as parents get caught up in the daily
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| | drinking, please call me - no matter
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| grind of work, household chores, and
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| | where you are, no matter what time it is,
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| other engagements. Sometimes we forget
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| | whether you're drunk or not, or if you're
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| how to prioritize our committments.
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| | somewhere you weren't supposed to be.
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| Ironically though, it is our teenage
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| | I'll come and pick you up. It's not cool
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| children who suffer from our own
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| | to get into a car with someone who's been
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| strategies on making their lives more
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| | drinking - ever. I promise not to be
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| comfortable.John J. Berrio wrote a
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| | angry with you. I'd rather you come home
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| shocking but enlightening, infamous piece
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| | alive than dead."This is something that I
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| on teenage vehicular-related death based
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| | say to my own teenagers - every chance I
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| on a friend's son:Only 17Agony claws my
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| | get. And with a season of holidays upon
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| mind. I am a statistic. When I first got
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| | us, it is even more vital that we
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| here I felt very much alone. I was
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| | communicate with our kids. Holiday
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| overwhelmed by grief, and I expected to
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| | statistics show that there is, on
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| find sympathy.I found no sympathy. I saw
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| | average, a nearly 50% overall chance of a
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| only thousands of others whose bodies
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| | traffic-related fatality. What
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| were as badly mangled as mine. I was
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| | unnecassary risks are we willing to take?
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| given a number and placed in a category.
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| | Not only is talking with our children
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| The category was called "Traffic
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| | crucial, it is important to stay involved
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| Fatalities."The day I died was an
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| | in our childrens' lives. Knowing where
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| ordinary school day. How I wish I had
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| | your child is - is NOT intrusive. Knowing
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| taken the bus! But I was too cool for the
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| | what your child is doing - is NOT
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| bus. I remember how I wheedled the car
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| | intrusive.Set guidelines for your
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| out of Mom. "Special favor," I pleaded.
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| | teenagers. We can't protect them from
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| "All the kids drive." When the 2:50 p.m.
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| | everything - that's a fact of life. There
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| bell rang, I threw my books in the locker
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| | are just some things that we can't do as
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| ... free until tomorrow morning! I ran to
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| | parents - but what we can do is become
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| the parking lot, excited at the thought
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| | active participants in their lives. Just
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| of driving a car and being my own boss.It
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| | as we support our children at athletic
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| doesn't matter how the accident happened.
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| | events like football games, cheerleading
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| I was goofing off -- going too fast,
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| | sessions, field and track, (just to name
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| taking crazy chances. But I was enjoying
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| | a few), we can support our teenagers from
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| my freedom and having fun. The last thing
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| | the sidelines...giving them impromptu
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| I remember was passing an old lady who
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| | examples on how to be successful, and how
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| seemed to be going awfully slow. I heard
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| | to lead life in a fun but responsible
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| a crash and felt a terrific jolt. Glass
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| | manner.Here are some tips at developing
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| and steel flew everywhere. My whole body
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| | open communication lines with your
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| seemed to be turning inside out. I heard
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| | teenagers:1. Cell phones are valuable
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| myself scream.Suddenly, I awakened. It
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| | assets in keeping up with your kids. Make
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| was very quiet. A police officer was
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| | sure you allow them to use them if going
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| standing over me. I saw a doctor. My body
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| | "out to a friend's house..." or "party."
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| was mangled. I was saturated with blood.
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| | Cell phones give kids a sense of
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| Pieces of jagged glass were sticking out
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| | responsibility and most often, they will
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| all over. Strange that I couldn't feel
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| | use them to phone you if they're caught
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| anything. Hey, don't pull that sheet over
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| | in a desperate situation.2. Keep negative
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| my head. I can't be dead. I'm only 17.
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| | thoughts to yourself. We may not like the
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| I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to
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| | fact that our kids might drink; we might
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| have a wonderful life ahead of me. I
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| | even be boiling over with anger - but if
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| haven't lived yet. I can't be dead.Later
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| | they do drink, don't slam them for it.
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| I was placed in a drawer. My folks came
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| | The next time, they may not call you.3.
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| to identify me. Why did they have to see
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| | Access. If you know that there might be a
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| me like this? Why did I have to look at
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| | possibility of drinking, talk to your
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| Mom's eyes when she faced the most
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| | teenagers. Don't assume that
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| terrible ordeal of her life? Dad suddenly
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| | Billy-down-the-street who comes from a
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| looked very old. He told the man in
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| | "good" family won't be offering liquor or
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| charge, "Yes, he's our son."The funeral
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| | beer. Reiterate your position on drinking
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| was weird. I saw all my relatives and
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| | in a positive declaration, but at the
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| friends walk toward the casket. They
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| | same time, reinforce your availability to
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| looked at me with the saddest eyes I've
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| | them. This could be a make-or-break life,
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| ever seen. Some of my buddies were
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| | preserving decision on your part.4.
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| crying. A few of the girls touched my
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| | Resolve. When we acknowledge the fact
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| hand and sobbed as they walked by.Please,
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| | that kids may drink alcoholic beverages,
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| somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of
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| | we aren't so shocked and disturbed when
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| here. I can't bear to see Mom and Dad in
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| | it does occur. The number 1 rule for
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| such pain. My grandparents are so weak
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| | combatting drinking and driving issues is
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| from grief they can barely walk. My
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| | to stay informed, stay alert and never
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| brother and sister are like zombies. They
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| | assume anything. We were all teenagers
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| move like robots. In a daze. Everybody.
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| | once and we know how quickly events can
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| No one can believe this. I can't believe
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| | change for the better or worse. It's up
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| it, either.Please, don't bury me! I'm not
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| | to us as parents to instill proper
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| dead! I have a lot of living to do! I
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| | attitudes about drinking and driving so
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| want to laugh and run again. I want to
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| | to prevent alcohol-related traffic
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| sing and dance. Please don't put me in
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| | fatalities.In closing, I encourage folks
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| the ground! I promise if you give me just
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| | to let their children read, "Only 17." It
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| one more chance, God, I'll be the most
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| | is, by far, the most impressive piece of
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| careful driver in the whole world. All I
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| | literature of our time. If you don't know
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| want is one more chance. Please, God, I'm
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| | how to talk to your children, seek
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| only 17.By John Berrio
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| | private counsel so you can. Our youth is
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| _________________________________________
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| | the vital component our existence - they
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| ____________________This well-known story
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| | are, afterall our leaders of tomorrow.
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| has been circulated across the globe.
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| | Invest in them today by being an integral
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| Also known as "Dead at 17," and "Please
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| | part of their lives.
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